Dogs and Psychopaths

Terry and Grady taking a snooze.

Terry and Grady taking a snooze.

Tonight’s post will be very brief.  I have already written several articles about little Otis, my 14 pound, 15 year old rat terrier who met her end in the care of my wife while I was stranded in a B&B after a long string of abuse that escalated to domestic violence, my wife’s exact words to me via cell phone being, “Your dog has been destroyed.”  What happened to Otis saved my life, and she continues to be the spirit and inspiration behind DogDharma.

Now I have my two new pups, Cecil and Grady.  Grady and I are pictured above.  This is how we sleep, with Grady snuggled against my chin, and Cecil keeping my feet warm (which is why he is not in the photo).

I was remembering tonight how Otis had had such a happy, carefree personality.  She loved to fetch her little tennis balls.  If I accidentally tossed one into her water bowl (my aim isn’t good), she would delicately retrieve it with her teeth by the fuzz on the ball.  She was never aggressive nor snipped at anyone, even toddlers.

All of my neighbors adored Otis, and many would bring her treats to feed her through the fence around my yard.  Squirrels would sit atop tree limbs and make faces at her, and she would woof at them.

Otis never made a “mistake” in the house; she’d shiver in misery when I didn’t immediately notice she needed to go out.  And if I had to leave her longer than I wanted, I never ever came home to an “accident.”

All that changed drastically when I made the sad choice to move to England to be with my wife, Paula — even after she’d lied about countless things.  It wasn’t that Otis didn’t like the new physical environment — Otis adored the new smells available to her — seagull poop, wow!  Nor was it because Otis couldn’t cope with Paula’s four children as I feared, though there were a few issues and some adjustment.  No, it was because Otis was mistreated by  my wife — given “people” food and then getting yelled at for “begging,” chastised for jumping on the bed and then invited to hop on the bed for a “snuggle with mum.”  Very confusing to me and to poor Otis.  No consistency, Otis hardly knew what was expected of her anymore.  And other things…  To the point that Otis did little but hide in her dog bed and slink around like an unwanted piece of rubbish.

You can read In Memory of DogDharma — Otis, which has links to my other blog posts about her, including videos of Otis.

So I was wondering tonight what other writers had to say about psychopaths and dogs, and found a few interesting links.  The first thing I want to say, though, is that psychopaths are capable of love-bombing dogs just like they do with people.  That is what my wife was doing when Paula gave Otis “people food,” though I repeatedly asked her not to (not that I would have minded a little healthy stuff, but fatty sausages and unhealthy stuff, no).  The love-bombing might have worked initially, but in the end, Otis would slink away from Paula, not deceived, and hover near me for protection.

Can Dogs Sense Psychopaths?Warning: This article is written by someone who claims to be a psychopath, but it gives some insight into how a psychopath thinks about dogs.

15 Amazing Things Your Dog Can Sense About You — A good article about what dogs can sense and how to deal with it, but click through the items and notice number 14.

The sociopath, dogs and manipulation — This one is a great example from Donna Andersen’s well-respected blog Love Fraud.  (She has a book by the same name.)

How to identify who’s NOT a sociopath. — Yet another person blogs about his (?) experiences with psychopathic types and dogs.

It was a good day with many ventures on the horizon even though my friend, Kitt’s, “afterparty” memorial is tomorrow night at the American Legion with many friends attending, so I was trying my best to cheer up my precious friend, L, who had a very bad day thanks to the psychopaths in her life.  I did my best, but she sends me this:

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About DogDharma

Dog Dharma is written by a human who loves dogs and who believes dogs have attained enlightenment. The human behind Dog Dharma came from humble origins, has faced many trials, enjoyed many adventures, and taken a path less traveled. He claims no special privilege or expertise, and remains humble. Dog Dharma‘s author has learned a few things along the way, and has much yet to learn. He has been told by many people that he has a talent for writing, and aspires to write a book, but is a little too lazy and disorganized, so his blog will suffice for now. He opens a window into his life in the hope that some of his words may be of comfort, some may be a beacon or warning, and perhaps he will connect with like-minded souls. Everything shared comes from a place of openness and honesty, but with no claim that he possesses the Truth. People and places mentioned should be taken as pseudonyms. In many cases, details may be an amalgamation of actual events disguised to protect the “innocent.” Nothing written is to be taken as actual fact, but as the author of Dharma Dog‘s limited understanding. From the mouths of the Beatles: In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
This entry was posted in Cecil, dog, dogs, dogs and psychopaths, Grady, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Otis, psychopath, psychopathy, puppies, puppy, sociopath, sociopathy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Dogs and Psychopaths

  1. luckyotter says:

    Good post. I have a lot to say about dogs (well, animals in general) and psychopaths, and that gives me an idea for tomorrow’s post. I’m so sorry about Otis. 😦

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  2. DogDharma says:

    luckyotter, if you happen to have read my previous posts on the topic, well, *every single animal* that I personally ever knew to be in my wife’s care ended up dead. That included Otis, two cats (Sabrina and Salem), two bunny rabbits, and a cage full of gerbils. I heard of other dogs from her children that “disappeared.” And I was told by someone I won’t mention that the dog her parents had (Maisie) was turned over to her mum with a head injury. I can’t speak about what happened before I met her, but I did see that Otis, the cats, the rabbits, and the gerbils ALL ended up dead. You know what? Having read much on the topic by now, abuse of animals it one of the predictive “triad” of the worst psychopaths, like Ted Bundy. The other two legs of the triad being fire-starting and bed-wetting. It’s more than sad. I will be sure to read your post, but it will give me a 😦 face.

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  3. The real me says:

    I can’t think of anything nice to say here with regards to her actions so I will say nothing but that I am deeply sorry for your loss

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    • DogDharma says:

      Thank you — the loss of my dog was unforgivable, and there’s nothing nice to be said about my wife. Not only that, her version of what actually happened (told in my previous posts) was proven to be dubious *at best*, AND she demanded I re-pay her the £200 she “claimed” she spent in having Otis destroyed (laughable!). Then when she was trying to “reel me back in” after I’d fled England back to the US, I foolishly sent her some money based on a scam of hers. Her intentions weren’t what she said they were, and so in lieu of returning the money to me, I asked her to at least send me my dog’s leash. She refused!!

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  4. Thanks to you sharing your link elsewhere I was able to connect. Was so sorry to read about your experiences at the hands of this woman, but so much sadder for your loss of Otis. I think putting all that distance between you and her (Paula) a wise move and wish you better days ahead 🙂
    From one dog lover to another, stay strong my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • DogDharma says:

      deliberatelydebbie, thanks for finding my blog and commenting. It’s hard to see this kind of cruelty done to a dog, especially one you love dearly. I’m now thankful for that deep blue ocean called the Atlantic. It still leaves me speechless. But yes, better days are ahead. From your keyboard to God’s ears! 🙂

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  5. lbeth1950 says:

    What a horrible thing to happen. It must be dangerous for anyone under her control. Thanks for following Nutsrok. I’m so sorry for you and poor little Otis.

    Liked by 1 person

    • DogDharma says:

      Thank you, lbeth1950. Your writing is great on Nutsrok — I especially liked your post ticking off the funny things your mother said and did! If you’ve had the good fortune of never meeting anyone with psychopathic tendencies, some of my articles will sound very dark and depressing. I am fairly well-read and educated, but I never quite knew such people existed. They do! Sweet Otis was light of my life, smartest dog I ever met. It’s unfathomable to me how anyone could purposefully hurt an animal. But this is the kind of thing psychopaths will do. Yes, animals, and children and siblings and family and partners, and anyone who touches their lives will not come away unscathed. Hard lessons learned. My blog has been about my healing journey, and my posts are now more light-hearted on the whole — stuff that makes me laugh or scratch my head or offers a sense of hope. Occasionally, some dusty memory that needs to be revisited or what’s going on in current events and the odd life I’ve lived. Thank you for reading and commenting and following!

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  6. survivorofap says:

    my dogs loved my psychopath – they fell for the “mask” as well. Soon they became fearful of him. I found out why later. He almost killed my chihuaha by kicking her with steel toed boots down a concrete flight of stairs and used to beat my other dog when I was not around. The chihuaha incident was the one that made me “clue” in when I rushed her to the vet thinking it was a possible stroke or seisure, and the vet said head trauma. Long story short, but I found out the truth. I also had 3 kittens mysteriously die.

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    • DogDharma says:

      Dear Survivor,

      I’m so sorry you went through that. Mine initially fell for the mask as well. They know we love our furbabies, and strike out to hurt the ones we love dearly. Best wishes to you.

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