I’m Getting Married!!!

Wedding Kiss

Yes, it’s true — I’m getting married!!!  But hold on a second, I’m already married … that would be bigamy, right?  (See  NO DIVORCE (and Other Artifacts and Bigamy Is a Crime).

I, Paula, Take You, Terry... I, Terry, Take You, Paula... Paula Places Ring on Terry's Hand... Paula Signing Marriage Register at Prince George's County Courthouse Pronounced Husband and Wife Signing Marriage Register at Prince George's County Courthouse Terry Places Ring on Paula's Hand...

Screenshots above from the wedding video — if it’s too boring, the actual vows begin at around the 17:00 mark:

But, yeah, I’m getting married anyway.  To myself.  The idea came from this news article:

I married myself, from the Guardian

Finding the right person to make a commitment to can take years, but it turned out that Grace Gelder had known her perfect partner all her life.  […]  I do, however, have a strong recollection of when I was 18 at university and studying performance art, hearing that line in a Björk song called Isobel: “My name’s Isobel, married to myself,” and thinking, crazy as that sounds, I totally get that. It’s about making this pact or promise to yourself and then somehow enacting that in how you live your life from that day on.  […]  Included in this was a Shakti Tantra programme focused on sexuality and how this was bound up with making agreements with yourself and other people.

This sounds like an incredibly good idea for anyone healing in the aftermath of a psychopathic relationship.  Turn the focus inward and learn what made you vulnerable.  This is even more critical for anyone who grew up in a toxic family, and had a psychopathic parent.  (See Psychopathic Mothers for Transgendered People and My Mother, the Psychopath, Maybe?)

You cannot heal if you cannot love yourself.  It’s that simple, But not so simple after all.  Do that “fearless and searching moral inventory,” and regain your inner compass.  You’ve endured lies, deception, manipulation, abuse, gas-lighting, and purposeful exploitation from your psychopath.  But don’t harangue yourself like your psychopath would.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Treat yourself with this same gentleness and persevere.  You will have back-steps, but keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I know I can make a commitment to myself, and I know I will keep my commitment, just as I have carefully and honorably kept my commitments in past relationships.

I found a helpful article:

Falling in Love With Ourselves, from zenhabits

I got some hugs and kisses from one of my dogs tonight, Grady.  His love for me is unconditional, as is God’s love for me.  And that’s all I need.  Dedicated to my friend, L, for helping me through some rough times.  And dedicated to my dogs, Cecil and Grady, and to God for not giving up on me when I wanted to give up on myself.  And dedicated to YOU, my readers, who have followed my posts, given me positive feedback and encouragement, and accepted my blunders on the healing path — which is NOT a destination, but a journey — may you know joy and healing as well.

Grady Hug 1 Grady Kiss 1

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About DogDharma

Dog Dharma is written by a human who loves dogs and who believes dogs have attained enlightenment. The human behind Dog Dharma came from humble origins, has faced many trials, enjoyed many adventures, and taken a path less traveled. He claims no special privilege or expertise, and remains humble. Dog Dharma‘s author has learned a few things along the way, and has much yet to learn. He has been told by many people that he has a talent for writing, and aspires to write a book, but is a little too lazy and disorganized, so his blog will suffice for now. He opens a window into his life in the hope that some of his words may be of comfort, some may be a beacon or warning, and perhaps he will connect with like-minded souls. Everything shared comes from a place of openness and honesty, but with no claim that he possesses the Truth. People and places mentioned should be taken as pseudonyms. In many cases, details may be an amalgamation of actual events disguised to protect the “innocent.” Nothing written is to be taken as actual fact, but as the author of Dharma Dog‘s limited understanding. From the mouths of the Beatles: In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
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10 Responses to I’m Getting Married!!!

  1. Terry…..

    First of all…..I hope you take it as a compliment but you could have done SOOOOOOOO MUCH better…and this woman is just HUGE…

    I expected to see a petite, beautiful blonde next to you. I need to shut up….I gotta be making this worse.

    I’m sorry for all that’s happened to you. I hope you know that..

    Like

  2. DogDharma says:

    Well, if I ever do, I’ll have to buy another suit, as she threw away the expensive one I had, and I have nothing left but the shoes. 🙂

    Like

  3. Terry, you look like such a kindly and wonderful person. Love the pics of you & Grady. May God, the universe bless you. You have such a beautiful smile xx wishing you all the happiness in the world! x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DogDharma says:

    tj, thank you so much for the kind words. You gave my morning a smile. Well, truth be told, I don’t think I know *how* to smile, which is one reason I don’t do selfies — that and my bad eye. I seem to have inherited being non-photogenic from my father who looked a little silly in most of the old photos I have of him. But my pups give me a genuine smile, and that can’t be hidden. Grady likes to sleep on me this way, cradled right up against me with his cheek against mine, a true “cuddle-bunny” as I call him. Do you have any idea what it is like to have a 37 lb dog who wants to sleep on top of your chest!? 🙂 ❤ At least Cecil likes to keep my feet warm now that fall is here.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. DogDharma says:

    No fair!!! 🙂

    Like

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