Screenshots above from the wedding video — if it’s too boring, the actual vows begin at around the 17:00 mark:
But, yeah, I’m getting married anyway. To myself. The idea came from this news article:
I married myself, from the Guardian
Finding the right person to make a commitment to can take years, but it turned out that Grace Gelder had known her perfect partner all her life. […] I do, however, have a strong recollection of when I was 18 at university and studying performance art, hearing that line in a Björk song called Isobel: “My name’s Isobel, married to myself,” and thinking, crazy as that sounds, I totally get that. It’s about making this pact or promise to yourself and then somehow enacting that in how you live your life from that day on. […] Included in this was a Shakti Tantra programme focused on sexuality and how this was bound up with making agreements with yourself and other people.
This sounds like an incredibly good idea for anyone healing in the aftermath of a psychopathic relationship. Turn the focus inward and learn what made you vulnerable. This is even more critical for anyone who grew up in a toxic family, and had a psychopathic parent. (See Psychopathic Mothers for Transgendered People and My Mother, the Psychopath, Maybe?)
You cannot heal if you cannot love yourself. It’s that simple, But not so simple after all. Do that “fearless and searching moral inventory,” and regain your inner compass. You’ve endured lies, deception, manipulation, abuse, gas-lighting, and purposeful exploitation from your psychopath. But don’t harangue yourself like your psychopath would.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Treat yourself with this same gentleness and persevere. You will have back-steps, but keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know I can make a commitment to myself, and I know I will keep my commitment, just as I have carefully and honorably kept my commitments in past relationships.
I found a helpful article:
Falling in Love With Ourselves, from zenhabits
I got some hugs and kisses from one of my dogs tonight, Grady. His love for me is unconditional, as is God’s love for me. And that’s all I need. Dedicated to my friend, L, for helping me through some rough times. And dedicated to my dogs, Cecil and Grady, and to God for not giving up on me when I wanted to give up on myself. And dedicated to YOU, my readers, who have followed my posts, given me positive feedback and encouragement, and accepted my blunders on the healing path — which is NOT a destination, but a journey — may you know joy and healing as well.
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