Alone? — Not Really


That gnawing ache in the back of your heart — and the TV won’t drown it out.  Silence so thundering you long to hear the ping of a pin drop.  You sit in a cluttered room of familiar objects — random papers unfiled, the empty bag of potato chips, floors needing to be swept — but you might as well be a speck of vapor in the vast dark universe.  You turn to Facebook, and you see before you the clamor of humanity, everyone with a cause or an agenda or a drama or someone just wanting to tell you about their latest bowel movement — all screaming at the same time, “Look at me!!  I’m here!!  Please, look at me!!!”

So, I was gripped by this feeling, and it isn’t unfamiliar to me.  One of my posts was a humorous jibe at arachnophobia using a popular Internet meme, (The TRUTH Finally Revealed (…and It Wants to Give You a Big Fat Hug!).  Another post, Coulrophobia, was more serious.  Tonight’s fear is more deadly and utterly serious — monophobia — the fear of being alone. (Autophobia may or may not be a synonym, but that sounds like a ‘fear of cars’ to me.)

mon·o·pho·bi·a   (mn-fb)


An abnormal fear of being alone.

mono·phobic adj.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

monophobia (ˌmɒnəʊˈfəʊbɪə)


1. (Psychology) a strong fear of being alone

ˌmonoˈphobic adj

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

Although the dictionary defines it as an “abnormal” fear, it is anything but abnormal.  See:

Fear Heart

Recognizing my feeling of dread, I pinpointed it to my terror of being alone.  Did the usual thing — grabbed Google.  Lots of tripe, when there really ain’t no quick fixes.  Of course not … this is the human condition.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” ~  Buddha

John 14:18 — “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

We are social creatures who crave for connectivity, but we sink in out aloneness.  We can do Part I, per Buddha, and seek peace within, finding out that we are not alone in a vast universe, but that a vast universe resides within us.  And we can do Part II, per Jesus, and discover that we have never been alone at all — a loving Higher Power has been watching over us.  (See Hound of Heaven.)

Both are necessary and neither are easy, to conquer monophobia.  All the more difficult when we have been betrayed by someone or everyone in our family of origin and skewered by psychopaths.  But you get my drift already, no?  Leading up to my calamitous marriage to my psychopathic wife, one of my friends said to me, “There are worse things than being alone.”

“What???  What could be worse?” thinks me.  I found out.  Do not, do not not not, settle for a relationship with a psychopath to avoid being alone — or even a relationship with a garden-variety abuser.  And if you’ve already stepped into the pile of doo-doo one too many times, wipe off your shoe and learn your lesson.  Find the universe within, and love yourself.  Let the excrement become the medicine for your healing.  Know that an unseen Hand is guiding you.

Terrible for Me Solitude

Written with love ❤ from one who is still learning, and this…

Terms and Conditions of Use

All content provided on this DogDharma blog is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. 

Once again, no representations as to accuracy, completeness, correctness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site is claimed.
The owner of DogDharma will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

About DogDharma

Dog Dharma is written by a human who loves dogs and who believes dogs have attained enlightenment. The human behind Dog Dharma came from humble origins, has faced many trials, enjoyed many adventures, and taken a path less traveled. He claims no special privilege or expertise, and remains humble. Dog Dharma‘s author has learned a few things along the way, and has much yet to learn. He has been told by many people that he has a talent for writing, and aspires to write a book, but is a little too lazy and disorganized, so his blog will suffice for now. He opens a window into his life in the hope that some of his words may be of comfort, some may be a beacon or warning, and perhaps he will connect with like-minded souls. Everything shared comes from a place of openness and honesty, but with no claim that he possesses the Truth. People and places mentioned should be taken as pseudonyms. In many cases, details may be an amalgamation of actual events disguised to protect the “innocent.” Nothing written is to be taken as actual fact, but as the author of Dharma Dog‘s limited understanding. From the mouths of the Beatles: In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
This entry was posted in autophobia, healing, hope, lonrly, love yourself, monophobia, psychopath, psychopathy, relationships, slonr and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s