Six Octobers

October Arkansas

It occurs to my that my birthday is now just shy of a month away.  I grew up in the “big city” of Little Rock.  Little Rock is in the dead center of Arkansas, with the Ozark Mountains to the north and the west, and from Little Rock to Memphis, there’s nothing but endless flat fields, vast stretches of green so flat you might be convinced the earth truly is flat.  If you are on a two-lane country road heading toward Memphis, at least when I was a kid, you’d still see the occasional rotting and dilapidated sharecropper’s home.

But the Ozarks were majestic.  In October, the leaves of the trees would turn flaming yellow, sun-kissed orange, and crimson red.  Organized by my “other mother,” Dova, we’d take drives in October to see the autumn foliage.  Made my birthday seem special.

I only had one birthday party as a child — the one before my daddy died.  Clips of it can be seen on my YouTube channel if you can endure the rest of the strung-together old, silent home movies.  After my daddy died, my birthday became irrelevant, as did I.

So now I’m going down memory lane….  Odds and ends over the years.  I don’t know how I managed to salvage some of my precious mementos and memories from the past from everything else Paula stole, but here are a few.

Dee Valentine 1985

The above, a Valentine from my first partner, Dee, 1985.

Dee Anniversary 1985 - 1

The above, an anniversary note from Dee, 1985, our 8th year in a committed relationship.

Donna 1989 - 1Donna 1989 - 2

The above, from my second partner, Donna, 1989.  We’d been together for 3 years, and I’d just graduated with my BS degree in computer science.

Kim October 2000

The above, a birthday partner from my 3rd partner, Kim, 2000.  We’d been together for 4 years.  Kim was not the “romantic” type, I have to say.  My first birthday after we were together (1996), she rushed into the door of our apartment and pulled an envelope our of her backpack.  There was nothing written on the envelope and it was unsealed.  I opened the card, and while it was cute, not one word was written on it, not even signed.  She’d stopped at a store on the way home and bought it and then just thrust it into my hand.  Won’t forget that birthday.  You can see she got a little better, though.

Kim October 2005

Even after we broke up, Kim was still giving me birthday cards for a while — the above from 2005.


The other Octobers….

Dova October 2009

In October of 2009, I flew to England to meet Paula in person for the first time.  While I was gone, I received a birthday card from my “other mother,” Dova.  She had addressed it to “Mr.” because I had already transitioned.  I have not bothered to obscure the addresses, because Dova and her husband are now deceased, and I sacrificed my home when I moved to the UK, and someone else owns it.


October 2009 Birthday

I was in England with Paula, no idea of the destruction and betrayal that would follow.

October 2010 Birthday

2010-10-31 Trip to Wales - 22 - Terry and Paula

I was on an extended stay in the UK, and Paula and I and the kids had taken a road trip to Wales.  On the day of my birthday, I received an email telling me my dear friend, Meg, had passed away after giving birth to her second son.  I had no clue that Paula was lying to me about owning her home.  Part of the purpose of my visit was to come home with a copy of the deed to her house, and the other documents I’d need to get my spousal visa.  The following spring, I learned the truth.  Wasn’t able to move to the UK for a full year (July 2011) after we were married because of her lies.

October 2011 Birthday

Terry and Paula - October 12, 2011

Photograph taken a couple of weeks before my birthday.  On the day itself, Paula hit me in the face the first time.

October 2012 Birthday

See Outrageous Lies — The Sofa.

October 2013 Birthday

I had my first new puppy, Cecil….

October 2014 Birthday

Don’t know, but it will be my best birthday since 2008!!

Sorry, embedding has been disabled, but it’s definitely worth a listen, so please go here.

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Dog Dharma is written by a human who loves dogs and who believes dogs have attained enlightenment. The human behind Dog Dharma came from humble origins, has faced many trials, enjoyed many adventures, and taken a path less traveled. He claims no special privilege or expertise, and remains humble. Dog Dharma‘s author has learned a few things along the way, and has much yet to learn. He has been told by many people that he has a talent for writing, and aspires to write a book, but is a little too lazy and disorganized, so his blog will suffice for now. He opens a window into his life in the hope that some of his words may be of comfort, some may be a beacon or warning, and perhaps he will connect with like-minded souls. Everything shared comes from a place of openness and honesty, but with no claim that he possesses the Truth. People and places mentioned should be taken as pseudonyms. In many cases, details may be an amalgamation of actual events disguised to protect the “innocent.” Nothing written is to be taken as actual fact, but as the author of Dharma Dog‘s limited understanding. From the mouths of the Beatles: In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
This entry was posted in betrayal, birthday, birthdays, Claire Marshall, domestic violence, lies, memories, October, Paula Khier, Paula Simmons, Paula Vanzetti and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Six Octobers

  1. Wow….I’m glad you wrote this, DD…it helps to get to know you better.

    A little side note here: when I played the vid of your pup Cecil, my dog immediately ran outside and started barking, LOL…it’s 4 am here, so that’s a BIG no bueno!

    Great post!


  2. PS honey! Your name is now up in lights on my blog. I hope you get lots more hits!


  3. DD…something else just dawned on me….Laura Ingalls Wilder, I believe, in her married years, lived in the Ozarks…I loved her books as a child…the “Little House On The Prairie” series…


  4. Pingback: Best Birthday Gift Ever | Dog Dharma's Blog

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