The first time I went to the theater to see a movie was in 1970. I would have been 14 years old. The movie was Love Story starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal. The famous catchphrase from the movie was “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” I never quite understood that line. To me, love is all about saying you’re sorry when it needs to be said. In some ways, “I’m sorry” stands as a titan over “I love you.”
I came across an interesting article in Psychology Today: 5 Reasons Why Some People Will Never Apologize. Of the 5 reasons, the one I like best is:
Admissions of wrong doing are incredibly threatening for non-apologists because they have trouble separating their actions from their character. If they did something bad, they must be bad people; if they were neglectful, they must be fundamentally selfish and uncaring; if they were wrong, they must be ignorant or stupid, etc. Therefore, apologies represent a major threat to their basic sense of identity and self-esteem.
The chronic inability to apologize — and I do mean chronic, because we all fail the test of bravery from time to time — is a character flaw. It’s one of the traits of psychopathy.
I was looking up quotations I might include in this article, a Google search on “I’m sorry quotes.” Curiously, I found the following on Goodreads:
“Not here Anymore!”
― Kayla Brown
At first, it puzzled me. What was this doing amongst quotes about being sorry? Then it dawned on me, Isn’t that more or less the tattoo that psychopaths ought to wear, something like, “No one home inside here”?
Be sure to say “I’m sorry” to the ones you love.
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin:
It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
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