This is just my personal opinion based upon my experience, but the one universal trait of a psychopath is lying. Psychopaths lie constantly. They tell little lies, they tell big lies. They tell lies even when the truth would seem to better serve their best interests. Or as I now like to say, “If her lips are moving, she’s lying…”
I had a head-scratching moment with my wife once. It made me think she had some sort of cognitive difficulty, but in retrospect, it was just another example of her lies. We had me online in July of 2009, had married in July of 2010, and after the Big Lie, I had moved to England in July of 2011. One day shortly after I’d moved over, we were out walking and encountered one of her friends. My wife introduced us, me and her friend. Her friend said, “Oh, I didn’t know you’d gotten married. How long have you known each other?” My wife said, “Three years.” I stood flummoxed for the rest of the conversation. We’d only known each other 2 years, and I wondered why she lied. July 2009 to July 2011 is 2 calendar years.
After the friend went on her way, I asked my wife why she’d told the woman we’d know each other 3 years. My wife paused, and said, “2009, 2010, 2011 … that’s 3 years.” I let it go, as I did most her lies. In retrospect, she was clearly trying to paint a picture for her friend that we’d know each other longer than we truly had. But by her definition, if we’d met at 11:59pm on December 31, 1999, and someone had asked her how long we’d known each other after midnight, I laughingly suspect she would have replied, “For a thousand years!”
Some of this is a repeat of stuff I’ve said many times, but I’m repeating it because one of the best defenses against a psychopath early on is spotting lies. If you can spot the lies, you won’t get sucked into the love-bombing. So I stumbled across a website that seems to have some good hints on How to Detect Lies.
I think my favorite tidbit from the article is this:
A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
As for me, I’m on the offense. 🙂 So just offering up a few words to the wise…
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