Lisa writes an excellent short piece on gas-lighting. Part of healing in the aftermath of a close encounter with a psychopath is overcoming the cognitive dissonance created by the gas-lighting of the psychopath. Her one line that stands out for me is:
I picked apart each of his claims and refuted them one by one with physical evidence
Physical evidence, tangible evidence, is something I have plenty of. I am putting back together the pieces of Truth, my truth, what happened to me. It is my healing journey, and I will soldier on.
Lisa closes by writing:
No one should have the power to create your reality other than you.
And your trust in another should never be greater than your trust in yourself.
Gaslighting thrives on doubt.
Starve it by believing in yourself.
I say, “Yes!!!”
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In all of the pain after my ex husband left, there is one pain that stands out as more acute than the rest. After being arrested for bigamy and bailing out of jail, my ex decided to overdose on sleeping pills. It appeared to be a sincere suicide attempt, but he made sure to cover his bases in case he survived.
He composed and emailed a suicide letter to both his new wife and to my mom. I read that email while sitting outside the DA’s office waiting to meet the victim advocate. He was recovering in the ICU.
I felt reality slipping away as I processed the words that distorted the world I knew. In the letter, he speaks of me being “impossible to live with” and “negative.” He talks about my irresponsible spending habits and how I “just had to have my way” and he “couldn’t tell me no.”…
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