I do not come to you as someone without flaws. I’ve openly admitted my flaws, and perhaps there are a few that have gone untouched. But only for lack of time and space. When I learned who you were, I tried to warn you discretely. If I meant you harm, I could have done much worse. Hurting you was not my purpose, but helping you. Saving you from what I experienced first-hand.
I want you to see for your own eyes what Paula wrote to me, as to why she “loved” me, and compare that to what she has told you:
a list of the things that have attracted me to you and have helped with the course of TRUE love.xxxx
[6/5/2010 8:52:27 PM] paula simmons:
ok here begins the gospel according to TERRY THE MAN I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART who is the worlds MOST special person i have ever wished to meet. i fell in love with him SO easily. he is the most gentlest person i have ever come across…..in everyway……speech….. actions……. touch. honesty is a huge big factor for me AND despite everything has been open AND honest to me from the word go. past does in NO WAY bother me. the future is what concerns me. so gentle,kind,full of intergrity. generous to a fault,romantic trusting/trustworthy,honest beyond reason. good sense of homour and funny to pat. makes me smile and laugh SO important. intelligent and so easy to talk to/with…….the flow of everything just drifting along. never a break into silence……constant flowing converstaion never nothing to say to each other(although you do HAVE to admit that sometimes i do moan too much;))
[6/5/2010 8:53:20 PM] paula simmons:
reliable,loving caring like 2 peas with everything……we both love the same things music food etc……..
[6/5/2010 8:53:57 PM] paula simmons:
NOT IN APPROPRIATE ORDER EITHER!!!!!! SHALL I?????
[6/5/2010 8:54:19 PM] paula simmons:
yr the most beautiful person inside AND out (NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY)
[6/5/2010 8:54:43 PM] paula simmons:
i have never met someone who exudes so much love and radiance as you do my angel
[6/5/2010 8:55:15 PM] paula simmons:
these are just to name a few….but the list is endles…..
I couldn’t understand why she would love me, legally blind, transgendered, 12 inches shorter than her, an American on the other side of the ocean… But I fully disclosed everything. She, herself, characterizes me as “honest from the word go.” I’m sure you can recognize her writing style. Why would she be so eager to trust me after Hussain and Lotfi? Which is why I asked her to put into words why she loved me, getting the above response.
I am asking you to trust me when I say that what I’ve posted thus far is only a tiny portion of what I know and what I endured. I am trying to protect a few people who, even though they have covered for her, would be immeasurably hurt if I revealed more. A delicate balance. Paula knows what I’m talking about, and so do the others involved.
Now, Paula presented herself to me as “straight” from the beginning. It was only after she got to know me that she began to praise my “feminine” qualities. I don’t have many, but I had believed in romantic love, and I had cried over “sappy” movies. She told me she had “the best of both worlds.” It was only then that she started to talk about being a lesbian, and asked me to shave her hair. She stopped wearing dresses and wore my boxer briefs. She quit her bleached-blond hair and her thick make-up. I supported her regardless, and never pushed her in any direction, except to say that i hated it when she dyed her hair, as I used to love to run my fingers through her soft locks. Before then, she had only ever been with men (as far as I know). But I’d lived in both worlds, and so you can count on this — every single time she has touched you, it has been in memory of me and what I taught her. If I was vulgar, crude, and uncaring, I could tick them off, one by one. In fact, I could post videos that she herself took. I’m trying to avoid that route.
I am sorry to say, there is nothing “special” about you except her parody of what she learned from me as having lived the majority of my life as a lesbian, and knowing how to “please” women. No, me, I personally am not saying there is nothing special about you. I’m giving you HER view. Speaking for myself, I think you ARE special, or I would not bother. You deserve much more than you are getting, as did I. And you are young enough that you can find it. You were already betrayed when she was coming on to you while trying to convince me to return to the UK in the spring of 2013, and you were most certainly betrayed when she told me she had broken up with “Cassie” when she said she “loved me” in January 2014. Is this the life you want for yourself and your children at this age, after all you have gone through? I can promise you this one thing from personal experience — things only get worse. No amount of love you can give her will satiate her need to “take.” I pray that you can hear the sincerity in my words.
I am going to leave you with one last photo for now:
Perhaps you enjoyed the novelty, or thought it was all in good fun. Or perhaps you are “into” that kind of thing. But I can promise you this — it was nothing but a regurgitation of what she and I played out together in one of her requested fantasies. It wasn’t special or particular to the two of you. Nor to me. 😦
Claire, please don’t presume that you are going to turn out any differently from me or Hussain or Lotfi. I promise, you won’t. I have held back on so much of what I could share. Please contact me directly if you need / want to know more. People do not destroy this many lives and suddenly stop. I wishfully thought my own sacrifices meant something, but they did not.
Now, please listen to me… every single person I knew on both sides of the ocean were warning me against her except for one,, but I so believed in “soul mates,” I believed in “true love” and I was loathe to discount a rape victim or a victim of domestic violence. I was “taken in” by her pity stories. I can find the newspaper article where she complained of toxic fumes here. But I defy you to find one newspaper article where Lotfi was arrested and imprisoned for child abuse or rape. He has disappeared off the face of the earth, or the Internet, even though Paula met him on a dating website. Why would a story about fumes surpass a story about child abuse, rape, and domestic violence overtake a story about gas fumes? Could it be because her stories were lies?
I am putting it in your hands — for now. Unlike me, you cannot say that you have not been warned by ones who know. Me, I only had friends who tried their best to warn me. Claire, I would not even attempt this if I was not concerned. I don’t know you, and can only make educated guesses. But I pray to Buddha, Jesus Christ Almighty, and whatever other deity that may exist, that somehow or other you can hear my words and protect yourself. In Cranbrook, you don’t have an ocean and a country to protect you. If you choose (or are unable) to heed, you will pay the consequences. I don’t mean from me, but from Paula herself.
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these are just to name a few….but the list is endles…..